Yesterday was a big day for me.
This is probably not a big deal for most girls, but for me it really was.
I am offically
Melinda Ann Kinnier.
I have always been a bit of a feminist.
Not in extremes, but I never really thought it was fair that a woman had to be the one to change her name.
On top of that, my dad is the last male Swenson.
Now, seeing as how my dad only has daughters, I felt it my responsibility, as the oldest, to carry on the family name.
So, as a young child I had it set in my mind that I would NOT change my last name, and my children would all carry on my name.
In my 10 year old head, it made perfect sense to me that my future husband would be completely understanding of this and would be perfectly fine with changing HIS last name and giving all our children MY last name.
(Mind you, my whole family thought this idea was utterly absurd....I didn't care.)
As I matured, I started to realize that this might not go over too well with whoever I may marry.
So, my new plan was that I would hyphenate my name, and my husband would do the same.
Then our children would also have hyphenated last names.
I thought this was a great compromise.
Then Nick came along.
He didn't like that idea so much.
He has always been supportive of my feminine pride, but he was NOT a fan of changing his name.
I wish I could say that I was completely understanding of this, but we actually had some fights over this one.
My 10 year old hopes and dreams were crushed.
But I did not give up.
The next plan was that I would hyphenate my last name and so would all our kids. Nick didn't have to of course, but the rest of us would.
So, when we got married, that was MY plan.
Nick was completely supportive of me keeping my last name and adding his.
He wasn't exactly on board with the kids names being hyphenated, but I figured I could persuade him when the time came.
For the first 2 years of marriage, I stuck to my plan. Except that I never actually went into the Social Security office to change my name. So, I remained a Swenson on paper, and a Swenson-Kinnier to anyone who asked.
About 2 years into marriage, I had a realization.
Nick sacrifices ALOT for me.
Probably the biggest thing is that we live very close to my family, which means we are about 5 hours from his family.
So, a name seems like a silly thing to be unwilling to sacrifice for him.
At that point, I decided that I would change my last name to Kinnier and make Swenson a second middle name.
That is still my plan.
But, for complicated reasons that I won't go into, I had to drop Swenson completely for now.
I will add it again later. Before we have kids.
(I still have not given up on carrying on the name-it just might not be the way I had originally planned.)
All this to say, I love Nick very much and am proud to be a Kinnier.
Just don't start thinking you own me now, Mr. Kinnier.