March 10, 2014

God's Plan

Since coming home with Silas, we get a lot of comments from people about how wonderful God's plan is and how much better his ways are than our own. Talking about God's plans with this cliche simplicity is something we Christians love to do.  But when it was said to me in reference to infertility and adoption, something about it really irked me, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it until I really sat down to think about it.

Here's the thing. Adoption was always a part of our plan. The infertility part wasn't. So, adoption was not some "new plan" from God that came about because our original plan didn't work out. In my mind, they are two completely unrelated things. The only thing that ties them together for us is the timing. We didn't choose to adopt because of infertility. We chose to adopt because God called us to it long before we ever knew we would deal with infertility, and because it was as much a desire of our hearts as having biological children was.

And here's another thing.  I do not believe that the infertility was God's plan for us.  I don't believe that the pain and struggle our birth mom had to endure in life was a part of God's plan for her.  I don't believe that parents who can't have children and children who can't have parents is ever a part of God's plan.  But I do believe that God, knowing the challenges and pain we would have to face, did make a plan for us and Silas to have each other. Because, God "causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him." (Romans 8:28) And this is so, SO good.
And one more thing, isn't it God's plan for all of us, as Christians, to care for the orphans....not just those of us who deal with infertility?

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27  


12 comments:

  1. Awesome insight with loving BOLDNESS. Thank you for speaking the truth in love, Mindy, and for speaking for those of us who also have to endure these "spiritualized" comments. Sometimes it's okay to say NOTHING, People. Love you, Friend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so right. You are such a good Mama. Cute picture.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AMEN!! Well said and thanks for saying it.- Jaclyn Snyder

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amen!!! I've always wanted to adopt as well and struggled with infertility for many years. Now the I have a daughter who was born naturally, I still want to adopt, and some people don't get that! I don't think God determines fertility either, but like you said---he causes things to work together for good. Thanks for expressing what's on my heart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I'm so glad to hear that you were able to have a baby. I hope the same happens for us. I'm glad that you still want to pursue adoption, even if people don't get it. When they see you with your baby, they will. It's the same love, and it is AMAZING! Congratulations on your new baby girl!

      Delete
  5. Yes yes to every word! I've had three biological children, three foster children and adoption is def in our future, being on both sides it's so awesome to see that unconditional love is what is, biological or not, and as Christ followers orphans are part of ALL of our call in one way or another!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Emily! I love that you are fostering kiddos. We hope to do that in the future too. You are awesome, and I love hearing you say it's the same love…biological or not. I know without a doubt that is true, even if I don't have the biological baby to prove it. There's no way I could love my kid more than I do. Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  6. Really really well said. I've heard so many comments especially since we've decided to adopt related to our infertility and now adoption. People just don't know what to say so they say the first thing that pops in their head. My favorite is, "Once you get your baby, you'll get pregnant!" Oh dear--- adoption is plan A and if I conceive naturally then I do, but I have to be okay if I don't. Thanks again for posting this! :)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have heard that one more times than I can count. My favorite was when someone actually said to me that they would laugh so hard if we got pregnant after going through the adoption process. Hmmm….not really sure what would be funny about that. And what I would really like these people to get through their heads is that we did not adopt as a fertility treatment, as if adoption is just some means to our ultimate goal of getting pregnant. Nope. Adopting our child was our ultimate goal, and we are thrilled with it. If we get pregnant, someday, awesome, but if not, we have everything we need. I can't wait to see the little one God has for you!!

      Delete